i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Randomize
