thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
