i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
