My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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