Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
