i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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