I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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