dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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