Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
