okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
