i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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