I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize