I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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