That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
