Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
