I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
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