Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize