girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I have surprise drugs for everyone
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
