did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
