my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
