hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
