direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
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