how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
