my vag is so smooth its legendary
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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