On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
