woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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