my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
