Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
