wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
She bit a glass in half.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
