definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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