I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
