Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
