you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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