Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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