when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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