so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
