i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I just googled if crying burns calories
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
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