I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
