He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
