soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize