Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
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He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
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Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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