ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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