i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
