maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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