Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
