FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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