Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
