i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
