..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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