My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I will be naked everywhere
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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