the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
