it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Randomize
