Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
