I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Randomize
