did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
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