I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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