I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
