so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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