Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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