p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
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