My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
