how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
