Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
wow bdsm is so cute
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize