hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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