Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
